Here I am sitting in our bedroom with dimmed light listening to the the distant sound of the ocean coming from Kyle's iPod and holding our beautiful baby Sophia Grace. I could stare at her for a long time and not understand how this little miracle was entrusted to us by God.
Our baby girl is 10 and a half weeks old. And yet we are not completely sure about what we are doing and what is the right way to do things. You'd think that raising children is one of the oldest tasks that humanity has been performing for ages and there should be a neat plan with plenty of 'if... then...' directives and an extensive wiki page along with a quick reference and FAQ in order to make new parents' lives easier. Right. There are thousands of words written in hundreds of books; all sorts of information are pouring out of the 'all-knowing' Google pages; I literally feel like I am drowning in all kinds of advice and yet it all comes down to figuring out your own ways that work for your baby.
What I seem to be struggling with the most is understanding that baby is a baby and I can't and shouldn't expect her to run like a perfectly written and tested piece of software. While I do believe that Sophia was created by God perfectly, I need to remember that she's unique in her own way. I guess when I am confused and inexperienced in some areas I find myself in a desperate need of set of instructions with a predictable outcome. When the outcome doesn't happen I start panicking. But God has blessed me with an amazing husband and wonderful family and friends who give me support and reassurance when times are difficult.
Enough said about me though. I'd like to spend more time writing about our beloved baby Sophiechka.
It's difficult to describe distinctive milestones at this age, but Sophia's vision has definitely improved. Now when I put her into the swing so that I can have a short break and grab a bite, she watches me from across the room and makes me feel guilty for not spending time with her. :) Her beautiful greyish blue eyes are always curiously looking around even when she's very tired. It seems everything's exciting and interesting to her and she's afraid to miss even the smallest thing.
On the downside being able to see more overstimulates her and doesn't let her fall asleep anywhere outside of the quite bedroom. (Tell me about going on a ride or for a walk in order to sooth your baby... While she likes the movement, she at best tolerates her car seat or stroller.)
Yesterday and today we've noticed that our baby girl started actually trying to grab things that she's interested in. I can't say she has a very good control of her hands, but she's definitely making connection between her movements and the results that she achieves. (With that being said she still easily wakes herself up with her hands if she's not snuggling in her 'woombie'. ) Her adorable little hands are more open and she's more willing to reach and touch new things.
Lately Sophiechka's smile stopped being just a copy of our expressions (though she still readily smiles back), but has become an expression of happiness. She'll smile when seeing her favorite toys, hearing me wind up the mobile on her crib and the most rewarding smiles are the ones she gives me when I greet her after she wakes up from sleep. No matter how fussy she is before falling asleep or how short her nap is, that smile is pure cuteness and makes my heart smile back.
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